Monday, July 23, 2018

Hari yang cerah, jiwa yang sepi.

Part 1.

I cried helplessly when I saw ur new Skype profile pic. You looked handsome and gained some weight. You also looked happier and I knew, there must be one woman who made u happy and unfortunately, it wasn't me. I thought I did forget about you, but the image of ur smile haunted my dreams and sleepless night. It felt like a sharp pain ran across my heart and I wonder if I could recover from that. Everyhing I had eaten tasted like sand and I hate myself for being so helpless about this whole thing, while you already mov d on with someone new.


Part 2:

I has been receiving weird texts from my students who keep complimenting about how beautiful I am or how I have lost some weight. They praised me and sometimes did cross the line when they expressed their so called unconditional love towards me. It reached my limit when a few students addressed me as sayang, my second wife and even my love. I did not know if they were joking nor being serious but it did affected my teaching as I could not focus anymore. Sometimes, they keep staring at my face for a long time and it made me uncomfortable. I did not know how to handle this.

Part 3 :
A student cried while telling her story ahout her mother who has been diagnosed Cancer stage 4. This 13 years old has been keeping this story as a secret and are feeling afraid with future. I did not know how to react but I did cry true while hugging her. I told her everything is going to be okay eventhough both of us know it isn't true. after she left, I took  sometime to take a deep breath and rebuild my shattered heart.


and despite of these things happene simultaneously. My mind still thinking of you. Dreaming of you trying to comfort me when I am crying on the phone, telling me everything will be okay. Now, you had gone, leaving me stranded while you dance happily with other woman.

Yes, I am a fool and I don't blame you. I'll take all the blame.

No comments:

Post a Comment