Lelaki Kiriman Tuhan

Terima kasih susah payah hantar saya pergi Temerloh dari Jerantut.

Tunggu di Station bus smpai bas saya bertolak.

Terima kasih sebab jaga saya dengan baik sepanjang saya di Pahang

Terima kasih sebab selalu ada dgn saya.

I love you to the moon and back ❤️

Imy

My heart will never stop thinking of u even you hate my existence.

I needed to lose you to love me.

Kau tinggalkan aku tanpa jejak,
Umpama debu debu hitam yang ditelan kegelapan malam,
Derita,
Sepi
Sunyi
Dan aku di sini, walau telah me langkah pergi,
Sesekali menoleh ke belakang utk ke Sekian kali,
Merindukan kita yang tidak akan kembali lagi.
Hanya doa yang aku titipkan kepada bayu pagi,
Agar kau sentiasa dilindungi dan bahagia tidak terperi.
Aneh kerana hati ini tidak bisa membunuh rasa rindu yang bertandang Sesekali,
Dan betapa ajaibnya, aku yakin, kau juga sering menitipkan doamu buatku,
Dengan caramu sendiri.

Ya, aku rindu kamu tatkala ku dengar lagu yang kau kirim buatku.

Tapi, biarlah itu ku simpan sendiri,

Doakan agar aku tabah Merindukan jejak u, dan doakan aku agar tidak tegar menoleh kebelakang lagi..

"and now the chapter is closed and done
and now, it is a goodbye, goodbye for us"

Take care, MAM.

Used to love you

If we don't ever talk again, remember that I loved you.

Cinta luar biasa.

Terima lah lagu ini,
Dari orang biasa,
Tapi cintaku padamu luar biasa,
Aku tak punya bunga,
Aku tak punya harta
Yang aku punya adalah hati yang setia,
Tulus mencintaimu

Kucing

Not a big fan of cats.

Tapi sentiasa percaya, sebagai seorang manusia perlu ada sifat penyayang akan haiwan. 

Bila sampai rumah dari Kedah, terus defrost peti ais, dan sambil siang ikan dan basuh ayam, kucing jiran sebelah bertenggek depan pintu. 

Berapa kali suruh kucing berlalu pergi, tapi masih tak berganjak. 

Dah fed up, bagi ikan siakap dekat kucing, dan kucing makan dengan lahapnya. 

Teringat kata seseorang " kucing selalu menghampiri orang yang baik hati" 

I will never be a kind nor good person. 

Cuma, tulah, kenangan tu datang melintas pada waktu yang tidak terjangkakan, Ketik ditemani peneman yang lain dari kebiasaan, sang kucing. 

Luka

I opened my email and saw a picture of you. You were sitting in the restaurant, smiling sheepishly and the one who accompanied u, managed to capture the beautiful picture. We did fight about this picture because I doubted who took the picture. That wasn't ur usual pose and that was not a candid picture because it seemed that u purposely posed it for someone else. I ignored the piercing and negative voice inside my somehow because my rationality convinced me, we were no longer together and it's not my business anymore. Really .

Then, I fell asleep and i dreamed about your blog. Truth to be told, I missed reading your blog. It always holds a special place in my heart despite of what we have been through and what happened between us. We drifted apart, mainly due to my mistakes but the words from your blog linger on my mind. In my dream, you posted a beautiful picture of a stunning woman (skinny, tall, fair and poise : total opposite of me) and you professed your undying love for her in your blog. I felt a twinge of jealousy in my heart. The picture of hers shares the same background as your picture in the email and my heart wanted to explode with rage. I screamed and cried in my dream because I loathed the dream and the image of both of you together.

When I woke up, I ruined my mood for a while and finally, I tried to put it all behind. I want to be happy for you because clearly I don't deserve you. Awak orang yang baik, akan dapat perempuan yang baik seperti dalam mimpi saya. Therefore, I hope u will find your happiness in the future.

Cinta takkan pernah berakhir

Di sini,

Memikirkanmu,

Cintaku tak berhenti,

Hanya untukmu, kasih,

Walau seringkali hati tersakiti,

Saat kau xpeduli,

Aku pun tak mengerti

Namun satu yang pasti, telahku jatuhkan hatiku kepadamu,

Selalu,

Selamanya,

Cinta takkan pernah berhenti,

Kerana hati telah memilih.

Allah, aku boleh relate dgn lirik, aku pernah rasa bagaimana hati aku tetap memilih untuk mencintai seseorang yang layan aku macam sampah, yang mensia-siakan penantian aku.

Jangan cakap aku bodoh, aku xbodoh, cuma bila aku cintakan seseorang, aku cinta betul betul, tiada jeda, tiada putus asa.

Tapi, bila aku ambil keputusan untuk undur diri, akan aku lakukan, tiada jeda, tiada putus asa juga walau cinta di hati tetap tidak mahu berhenti.

Be careful what you wish for.

Jika mendoakan agar untuk melupakan,
Bersedialah untuk menghadapi luka yang tidak akan berpenghujung dan membawa hati yang kosong umpama jurang gelap yang dalam, kosong dan sepi

Jika mendoakan agar orang yang disayangi berbahagia dengan lelaki/wanita yang lebih baik
Bersiap sedialah untuk merasakan hati dihiris-hiris dengan belati yang tajam,
Sakit lagi menyiksakan apabila insan yang pernah kita cintai tersenyum riang di samping pasangan yang mampu melengkapkan hati mereka.

Jika mendoakan agar bertemu jodoh yang Manis, matang, mengutamakan pasangan  tidak seumpama cinta yang lalu, bersiap
Bersiap sedialah untuk dikecewakan apabila kau sedari, kau bukan satu-satunya yang dilayan begitu.

Apa sahaja yang kita impikan, kita doakan, pastikan kita mampu menghadapi kesan dan akibatnya.

Dan bila kau diuji, tanpa peneman di sisi, kau kembali kepada sejadah, memohon agar luka yang tidak akan pernah sembuh ini, dipulihkan.

Merayu dan menangisi kebodohan yang lampau, dosa yang dulu, dan kekhilafan diri sendiri. Mengemis agar luka hati yang bernanah ini disucikan, agar kau bisa senyum esok harinya.

Benar, kau bisa menceritakan gundah hatimu kepada yang sudi mendengar, tapi hanya Yang Maha Esa saja bisa meredakan gejolak hatimu yang berpusar bagaikan taufan.

Ini yang terjadi bila kau meletakkan pengharapan yang tinggi kepada manusia. Akan ada saja insan yang menghancurkan pengharapan itu, musnah berderai bagai kaca yang berserpihan di atas lantai,

Luka, air mata dan penyesalan yang menjadi peneman malam ini.

Allah redakan kesakitan di hati serta jasmaniku ini. Terpaksa mengorbankan puasa lantaran gastritis bukanlah impianku untuk Ramadhan kali ini. Ya Allah permudahkan setiap satunya.

Aku sudah penat di sini ya Allah. Temukan aku dengan jalan pulang ke kampung halaman. Sudah tidak sanggup aku tinggal di persekitaran yang toksik ini.

Thank you, moonpie.

Thank you for your wonderful and careful thoughts about me. I love you so much moonpie. It is unfortunate we are going to celebrate my birthday apart from each other. Next year okay baby?

Thank you for your tremendous, careful planning and u even customized the floral and chocolate arrangement specifically to cater to my liking. Ah, I am so grateful..I can't wait to meet u in August!.

Thank you for being such a patient company, my loyal best friend and the most romantic and amazing lover. Love you moonpie😘😍!

Imy

It has been 3 days without your phone call and I miss you so much

Fifth

I remembered that day, u came to Pasir Gudang to celebrate my birthday. (yeah u said it is too early, but u did celebrate with me anyway). U drove for more than 4 hours, took toll free route as u tried to save money and endured the painful long ride just to make me happy and of course, u did. We spent the two days together happily, we were laughing over silly jokes and temankan saya utk ambil ic di rumah because I left my wallet at home.

I remembered when u asked "seronok tak dapat hp baru?"  my face beamed with happiness and u replied "seronok la tu, lebar senyuman, awak tak pernah senyum macamni"

That was the moment I realised I am truly happy because u are with me. Dapat hp baru memang best, but the ability to share those happiness and excitement with someone you truly love, is precious.

I didn't have luxury to share all my feelings and emotions with my loved one(s). I have been an independent woman for my entire life. Living alone in Pasir Gudang doesn't help either. I shed my tears when my ex boyfriend bailed out on me. I remember I involved in an accident and have no one to call for help. I did try to call my boyfriend at that time, but he never picked up my call and it made me feel worthless of his time. I feel abandoned, insecure and plainly dumb as I tried to settle the chaos. I remembered waiting for his text and hoping he could tell me everything was okay, but he didn't.

Therefore, I appreciate when you, abang, try so hard to be there with me in my highs and lows. I really do. So, I put my best effort to make u feel comfortable in Pasir Gudang and we had amazing dates. We ate asam pedas, tasted the best volcanic beef burger and had an awesome breakfast date at my kluang. I glad I did order the toasted wheat  bread twice because they are awesome! The most surprising thing was we ordered the same thing and hey, finally we have something in common.

Thank you topek for sacrificing your time and money. You may not be pouring me with money to buy my love but you are showering me with undivided attention and loyalty, and boy, I couldn't have asked for more.

Love you moonpie. I'll see u in two months.

the happiest day of my life.

 today I attended a seminar about Performing Art Festival.

At first, I had mixed feelings about it. I was confused, exhausted and feeling nervous about it.However, I enjoyed the session very much. Then, in the midst of session, I received a call from an unknown number. She was asked by someone to deliver a box and I smelled something fishy here. She won't reveal what's in the box and she said she didn't know who asked her to send the box. I was extremely confused and in shock. I thought there was a bomb in that box, hence I couldn't focuse anymore.

Then I reached school, I was suprised to see there was a beautiful chocolate bouquet on my table. Yasssss, Alhamdulillah. It really made my day. Yang paling best sebab bunga tu adalah fresh flowers. I am not a fan of red roses ( suka mawar kuning/putih lgi) but they look spectacular when they were matched with Lavender.

I love you Mat Rempit. Saya sangat happy harini. If you propose to me, I may accept it because I feel euphoric. I am crying nw. Thank you Allah, Thank you abang.

asalkan kau bahagia.

katakanlah sekarang bahawa kau tak bahagia.

Exhausted

This week is pretty hectic.
They are so many deadlines and they are piling up.
Sometimes I woke up at night because I had panic attack.
and I wish, there is someone who can comfort and console me.
however it seems like a dream.
The guilt is still eating me out alive.
and I can't help it.
I just want happiness, for myself.

Allah, permudahkan setiap satunya.
Lapangkan rezeki kami berdua
dan perkenankan doa-doa kami yang tertunda.

Ya Allah, satukan kami jika ini yang terbaik untuk kami berdua di bawah ikatan perkahwinan. Permudahkanlah, ya Allah.

Nisan cinta

Terdengar guruh petanda

mungkin badai melanda

sambut tanganku bersama 

kita harungi

Tanah seakan bergegar

Detik kau bersamanya

Pejam sampai kan tersedar

Semua kan reda

Sumpah ku, kepadamu. 

Tak terhapus, jejakku mencintamu,

Tak terukir bintang walau beribu,

Bersemadi, cinta kita bersama,

Terwujudnya, nisan cinta.

Munchy

Makanan yang sedap adalah munchy's cicah teh kosong pekat.
Menghilangkan keresahan kerana pasta pizza hut tak sedap
dan menghilangkan keinginan makan ayam goreng McD tak kesampaian.

ada sesiapa nak belanja ayam goreng McD? 😭

Alhamdulillah, Terima Kasih Allah.

Fourth

Misery

Sometimes, sleep eludes me, and that’s okay.
It’s not sorrow or misery that keeps me awake—far from it.
I am happy, truly content with the life I have now.
I really am.

Yet, in fleeting moments like this, your memory drifts into my mind,
like an old, stubborn echo that refuses to fade.
I find myself wondering—have you eaten? Did you sleep well?
Did you smile today?
I know, my words must mean nothing to you now,
coming from a liar whose promises turned to dust.
But still, I care. I always have.
Perhaps it is merely habit, or maybe just my own foolishness
that keeps me from letting go completely.

Sudah lama aku nukilkan, sudah aku redha, sudah aku pasrah,
tapi mengapa hati ini masih risau akan dirimu?

I close my eyes, yet all I see is the weight of my remorse—
the pain of my lies, the regret of deception,
and the cold rejection from your mother,
who would not even grant me a single chance to explain.
She despises me, and I understand.
But never, not even once, have I hated her.
If anything, I only feel sorrow for her, a sadness I cannot explain.

And please, do not ask me why I still think of you,
why you linger in my thoughts through my lowest nights and brightest days.
I have no answers.
All I know is that my heart yearns for your happiness,
and the only time I will truly find peace
is when I see you laugh again, when I know you are smiling without pain.
That will be the moment I can finally let go.

Take care, awak. Not for me, but for yourself.

20th March 2019

These 4 words brighten my day.

Itik Salai

The initial plan

23rd March 2019
- I will be going to Seremban and attend my cousin's wedding
- I will be having a lunch date with Taufik. I'd promised him to cook Ayam Masak Merah.

24th March 2019
- I will be staying at Shah Alam for 2 days 1 Night ( I'd booked the hotel)
- Lunch at famous Itik Salai stall with Taufik
- Enjoy apam balik at his friend's stall
- We will go to Bukit Ampang and enjoy the panoramic night view

Then, the chemical dumping at Pasir Gudang happened and affected more than 2k people where they experience nausea, vomiting, asthma, and other symptoms. The school has been closed for 2 weeks.
My mom called and asked me to go back to my hometown Kedah. I've cancelled the plan :(

18th March 2019
- " Awak, boleh temankan saya balik ke Kedah kalau tak menyusahkan" I asked him anxiously
- "Saya check dulu ticket bus dan ticket train." he answered casually.
We discussed and we planned about it. Luckily, my friend who will accompany me from Pasir Gudang is also will be staying at Klang. Therefore I will drop her and fetch Taufik along the way. Alhamdulillah, dipermudahkan.
Before ending the discussion
"Jauh tak, itik salai dengan rumah abang?"
"Tak jauh sangat, leh je singgah lunch sana"
"Hooray!" I was really excited

18th March 2019 (11.00pm)
" Jadi esok macamana? our finalised plan?"
" Esok ambil saya dulu, kemudian, drop kawan awak, gi ambik barang dekat supplier lunch dekat itik salai, and pos barang dekat area2 sini"
"okay, xkisah mana-mana, asalkan boleh bersama abang" (sila muntah darah)
"Sempat je kalau singgah beli apam balik"
"Betul ke ni??????" I shouted excitedly
" Betul lah, sempat je , " he answered and was amused over my unexepcted excitement.
"yay, thanks sebab selalu penuhi apa saya nak. Saya tak demand sangat. Benda2 kecik pun dah buat saya bahagia sebab saya selalu jarang dapat sesuatu atau dapat benda yang saya nak. Sekali dah dapat, saya akan hargai"
" Saya just nak buat awak rasa bahagia"
" Thank you abang. I love you"
" I lub you too" he answered coyly
"Lub is so rempit-ish"
Aik, cakap lub pun salah ke?"


Alhamdulillah, it always feels like a smooth sailing whenever we plan our meet-ups. Dari first jumpa smpai dah kali ketiga. Eventhough it is an ad hoc decision, everything falls into places perfectly. Thank you for making me happy. I really do. Terima kasih sebab temankan saya balik ke kg halaman. I am forever grateful for that. Thanks Topek walau baru je gaduh semalam. 😜😜😜😜😜.

Last night WAS magical,

We stood on the bridge, the wind swept our skin gently and u stared deeply into my eyes.

When you smiled, there were fine wrinkles around your bright eyes and all of the tenderness in your voice make me feel weak,

the conversation ran smoothly and despite of my fear of height, I stood there happily while staring at the dark lake. There were no stars but the dimmed light on the bridge shone on our faces. I kept teasing you just to hide the anxiety away. You laughed over my stupid jokes and smiled when I looked the other way when clearly you tried to hold your gaze on me.

I never thought I could be this nervous let alone, falling in love too fast. I am afraid I will hold onto this fragment of memory forever yet you will leave me, just like the others did. You will get tired of my negativity, my downs, my jealousy and my insecurity. I am so messed up and it seems that I can't find ways to love myself. How can I love you when I don't know how to love myself first? I don't know, I just want to embed the memory of last night and sleep forever. I am too tired of loving someone wholeheartedly just to let them break and shatter it into pieces.


On the other side, last night was the night I fell in love with your for thousandth times and I still do now. Thanks Topek for picking me up around 11pm and spent your late night just to making me feel happy. Despite of your sentiment towards Putrajaya, you brought me to my favourite bridge, Jambatan Seri Wawasan and let me indulged myself there. I love you so much abang. I really do. Please don't leave me.

Chasing Cars.

"I love you" means so much to me. It shows vulnerability, it implies endless compassion, it speaks volume.

So, when I say "I love you", it means I treasure you, I value you and your self worth, I cherish every moment with you, I adore you, I hate you for making me missing you badly, I hate when you are mad at me, I see a future with you.

"I love you " means I trust you with my whole soul, I am happy with you, and I would not do anything to hurt you.

Therefore, when I say  I love you, please don't take it for granted because I love hard. I love real hard. I don't know how to love gently, maybe other people say I love too much, but it's the only way I know how to love.

Hence, when I utter these three words, I don't say it for fun, or just want to make you happy. I mean it will all of my heart. "I love you" means I would love to wake up next to you every morning and spend the rest of the night talking about us against the world. When I say "I love you" , it means I can picture what the future looks like with you and I only want one version of future. The future that includes you.

So, when you hear to these words, don't take it for granted. Accept it with arms wide open, acknowledge my love. Feel the thunder that shakes everything and if you feel the same, take away my heart.

When I say those three words, believe in me. Put your trust in me. When you're ready to utter those words , don't hold back. Say it when you mean it and say it because you believe in me too.


Thank you.

I love you too Mohd Taufik Ibrahim. I really do.

Memories that haunt your dream

I remember clearly that night. It was raining heavily as I put some make up on and looked in the mirror, trying to convince myself that I looked impeccable. "Finally, this is the night I am going meet you abang" I muttered under my breath as I held my chest. It was nerve wrecking because after 3 years of being together, that night was the night that would unite us together. As I traced my lips with burgundy lipstick, I smiled cheerfully. I kept thinking and imagining how the date would turn out. Did I put too much make up? Were you going to like me? Have you eaten or should we grabbed a light dinner together and spent the rest of the night talking?

Then, I steered the steering and navigated the car carefully as I thought I had a plenty of time. You were scheduled to arrive at 9.00 pm and it usually takes 30-40 minutes from my home to Senai, depending on the traffic. I took my own sweet time as I hummed delightfully. The rain kept pouring in yet it showed no sign
of stopping. Therefore, I drove slowly to avoid unfortunate event.

I reached the basement parking lot. It was eerie and quiet. It reminded me of the thriller movie scene and I paced nervously, hoping I could reach the ground quickly. When I entered the elevator, I sighed in relief and I was excited to meet you. After all the planning, finally I would be able to talk to you dorectly, I would be able to stare at your beautiful eyes and perhaps hear your infectious laughter. I always love when you laugh over my stupid jokes. The moment was simple yet genuine.



Then I reached the arrival section as I waited anxiously for you. I scanned the whole waiting area as all the passengers walked past me, headed to their respective loved ones. I tried to remain calm because it was no sign of you. I wondered where were you, did you board ur flight, or did something bad happen to you.Then, after waiting for almost an hour, I sat down on the bench and started to cry. I could not help it. My dreams were shattered and tears were streaming down my face. It felt like the whole world were crumbling down and I was left alone and stranded in the dark jungle with no route to escape. I was choking in my tears and I felt breathless as I tried to ease the pain. I felt betrayed by your empty promises and I felt like a stupid woman who kept waiting to meet you when you clearly weren't interested to meet me in real life. I blamed myself as I drove back to my home. Heck, I cursed myself for being so utterly stupid for trusting you and your freaking empty promises. I cried, shouted and screamed out my frustation like a lunatic. The heavy rain clouded the road and tears somehow blinded my eyes. I kept praying to Allah that I should leave and hate you. However my heart refused to do that. I just couldn't hate you despite all the pain and frustation you've caused me. Yes, I used to love you to that extent despite the nature of this love is intoxicating, suffocating and miserable.

You broke my heart when u disappeared for the next 7 days and came back later with petty excuses. You seemed to forget about this incident but that night remained in my mind and heart for a long time. It changed my attitude towards the relationships. It changed my perspective on you  and most importantly, it altered how did I view myself. Eventually, I forgive myself and you. However, the pain linger on my chest and it still hurts a lot whenever I think of it. This is the true embodiement of how you betrayed our relationship and most ultimately, us.


So, when I became overjoyed and excited about what happened last night, I kept  thinking about this pain. It felt like I has been cursed to carry this pain for the rest of my life.

Yakinkan aku tuhan, dia bukan milikku.

This is the mantra I've been chanting for the past 6 years,

and it still lingers on my mind whenever I think of you.

I can't erase the past memories, I can't rectify what I've done to you, I wish I could turn back the time, I wish I could be a better gf, I wish I could be more patience, but I couldn't

and here I am again, down to the memory lane, thinking of you for a little while, before I've decided to move on.

I am still wondering, what are you doing now? where are you now? are you married with the woman of your mother's choice and most importantly, are you happy now?

Despite all of these voices inside in my head, it doesn't matter now. It doesn't matter if i still care about you or I still think of you when I am driving. It doesn't matter if I hear your laughter before I sleep and it doesn't matter if your whisper echo in the air that I breathe in because you've gone away and left me.

I have to move on and pack all the memories and store them in somewhere safe because I know, we will never getting back together.

Time will heal and I am sure, one day, Tuhan akan yakinkan saya, bahawa awak bukan milik saya lagi.

Stay safe, and take care Afif. You will be dearly missed.

you are like a fourier series in my life.

Talking to you on the phone

changing my mood,

lifting up my spirit

and brighten my whole world.


I am still nervous whenever you look straight into my eyes,

and I am still blushing like a school girl whenever you ask me to look into your eyes.

I am excited when I see you're smiling

and I can feel the excitement when I see your sparkling and beautiful eyes are staring at me.

Thank you for tonight, and for the previous nights.

I just want to capture all the sweet memories and keep them  in my heart.


can't wait for the second date! One nore month and still countingg!

Step out the darkness and into the sun.

Take a  risk
Take a chance
Make a change
and breakaway.

Thank you, next.

To all my past, present and future

Past 

To someone who loves me unconditionally. 

Dear Dhous,

Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for all the compassion and warmth you have offered me since 11 years ago. However, I can't reciprocate the love you have offered me and I am extremly sorry for that. I can't love you more than friend and you can't change how do you feel about me. So, here we are, bidding farewell to each other and hoping one day, we would overcome our differences and reach the consensus to save our friendship. 

To the boy who had loved me before

Dear Afif, 

Thank you for being such a great lover for almost 6 years. You've shown me happiness, taught me patience and helped me to find myself again after series of disastrous break-ups. You made me feel beautiful and helped me to find confidence in love again. We had our ups and downs but you stayed loyal and true for the entire time. I am sorry for all the harsh words, pain, and torture. I am really sorry. I have come to the conclusion that I have to leave you because I love myself more. Waiting for you to come around is like waiting the rain in the draught ; Lonely and helpless. I need to choose myself because I know, deep down you won't choose me. I know, I am not a right woman to be your wife and not even a perfect daughter-in-law to your mother. Demi Allah, I loved you before with all my heart but I'd messed up and I am sorry for that. I've betrayed your trust to ease my pain and loneliness and hurted you along the way. Thank you for making me who I am today and Thank you for all the happy memories we'd cherished before. I have only one regret as I want you to stay as friends and hear your voice for the last time. However, you chose to run away like you always did, and left me alone, in the dark, again. The saddest thing is, you never intended to meet me as I desperately waited for you  in Johor. My mother used to say, if a man wants you, he will cross the sea or climb a mountain to get/meet you. On the contrary, you gave me a lot of excuses and created a deep wound in my heart as I blamed myself when our plans to meet up failed. . My deep-rooted insecurities did not help as well as I  harshly criticised myself and blamed myself for not being beautiful, smart, or even desireable enough. I also thought I was the "suwey" one because whenever we tried to meet, it was always a disaster and you cancelled our plan. I think I had enough and decided to walk away from this toxicitiy. Last but not least, I hope one day you will find your happiness, yet I chose not to be a part of it. We've suffered long enough and you'd paid the biggest toll. It wasn't an easy decision to make but I've learnt to take care of myself and put myself first before I start loving someone else.  I pray to Allah that I will be happier in the future and I believe in that. You will find someone who could bear with all of your antics too. InshaAllah :)

Dear Taufik,

To be honest, it started out just for fun. I didn't see/expect you to be an important part in my life today. We were both feeling deeply hurt by our previous relationships and as we started to watch the world crumbling down, we found each other to lift our spirits up again. We were so cold to each other and the conversation did not run smoothly as we were both afraid to open up our heart again. Now, here we are,feeling happy in each other's company, talking on the phone almost every day and learning to love again. We are still learning to overcome our differences and I don't know, I am excited to know you more.Yes, it's still early to put any hopes or expectation but I am happy where we are now. Thank you for being a loyal listener, a true friend and my biggest supporter. Thank you for always making me feel beautiful whenever I am with you. Thank you for always looking forward to talk to me and miss me when I am not around. Thank you for making an effort to "pujuk" when I feel angry and conflicted. I know you are still recovering as I am doing the same and I don't want to force you. Thank you for making an effort to meet me at Shah Alam and helped me to realise that I am not suwey. I really enjoyed our time together. The conversation ran smoothly, my heart was pounding with excitement and my hands were shaking due to the nervousness. I couldn't describe the feeling when u looked into my eyes because it involved mixed of emotions but one thing for sure, I felt happy that day. Thank you because you've offered to be my companion if I go back from Johor to Kedah. Sanggup teman because u don't want me to drive alone. That's the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me. I don't know what future holds for us, but I am glad you are in my life. The world seems beautiful because you're a part of it :) Can't wait to meet you next month and both of us are counting the days,yay!

My future

To a partner who will truly love me 

I don't know who you are. I really don't. However, I do believe you will enter my life when the time is right. Please take care of yourself while I am figuring out my life. I will love you unconditionally and try to be the best version of myself. I will stay with you through thick and thin. Saya percaya, Allah has the best plan for us. Can't wait to see the truth prevails. 

My first picture with Taufik.

Our